Thursday, April 28, 2005

To think before you speak means loss of pride

Today I had an interesting situation. But, before I get into that, let me preface the situation with a story...

About three years ago, I hit my all-time spiritual low. I had been in deeper sin before hand, but never fully came to grips with it. Well, it finally hit me when I had to actually admit I had done some serious wrong in my life. I started reading about how to overcome temptation and this whole sin thing (what we shall call, tritely, "Spiritual Self-Help"). Well, I must have bought 150 books over the coarse of the past three years, or so. Well, reading the Bible itself, as opposed to reading all this other spiritual mumbo-jumbo, became a strong desire. Now, I'm in a Presbyterian church, and their doctrine is Calvinism. I talked to some friends who were biased against it, and I put my heels in the ground in order to not learn about it. Well, the more I dug my heels, the more I wanted to know for myself what I was against. Well, I'm now at the point where I'm almost totally for Calvinism. I'm learning about God's sovereign grace, and how he predestined and foreknew my life. I'm starting to feel like I'm growing spiritually, now.

Well, I'm just trying to go through life without looking stupid.......... It's not working out too well.

I'm finding out that the stronger I desire to become, the weaker and more mistake-prone I become. I mean, you can say the RIGHT thing at the WRONG time and still look stupid. You might be right, but it's not the right time to say it and you burn a bridge. I think I did that today.

STORY - this lady at school has been helping me sub for this Mariachi Music class. (NOTE: When the normal teachers are there, there are 4-7 teachers/para-pros. Well, when I'm there, it's just me... and sometimes this other lady. Well, she was telling me that the only way I'm going to get along with these kids is by having several adults in the class to help me. I said that part of the problem is that there are too many teachers, and there is not one main teacher laying down the law. Now, I don't mind her help, but all I was saying is that the kids need one teacher with one set of expectations - not 4-7 teachers with 4-7 different expectations. Well, I think I ticked her off. I may have been right in what I said, but not in my timing.

So, life goes on and I feel like a complete and total doofus!

With another problem to life, and a cry to our Lord, this is JS with True PC.

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