Tuesday, October 02, 2018

Semi-unintentional, yet helpfully ritualistic writing prompt, uh, ritual

Day 9 (10.2.2018): Simply write about your day. What time you woke up, what your commute was like, what you did at work, how you spent your evening. (If you’re journaling in the mornings, write about the previous day.) Awakened at 5, I struggled to get some more well-deserved sleep until about 6. This time, I rather defeatedly picked up my phone and began scrolling. You know the drill. Procrastinate until it’s absolutely impossible to do so any longer lest you lose your job. My procrastination is due to lumping huge amounts of unrealistic expectations on myself, psyching myself up to do what really cannot be done: run three different music programs and keep my head above water. It was Jim Gaffigan who once said, “What does it feel like to have 4 children? Pretend you’re drowning and someone hands you a baby.” Yup. That’s me. Drowning in my own work, much of it self-inflicted. What can I say? It’s what I do.
So, after a long day of being disappointed with myself (again), I remembered how lucky I was to even have this job. I was planning on leaving public education altogether for a career - dare I say - with UPS or Starbucks. I wanted out. I’d been burned enough. After several failed attempts at relocating my tax ID number, I relegated myself to the belief that this was, indeed, my lot in life. It was only the intervention of the gracious and merciful God whom I serve that I was able to continue my love of teaching through music in another district. Yes. All that went through my head during a simple one-sentence response to my amazing teaching partner, Mrs. L, that I said, “You know, with all I’ve put myself through, I’m actually really happy with my gig.”
And, so I am. Very blessed to be where I now continue to perfect the craft of excellence in music education. After this, I went to my chiropractor for a disappointing (have I used that word already) adjustment and headed home to spend the rest of the evening with my wife and kids.
And (goodness, two paragraphs in a row?!), something happened that I’ve not seen happen in our household. After dinner - an amazing one, I might add (thanks, hon!) - we all sat at the table and did homework together. I don’t think I could have enjoyed myself more if I had been at … well, ok. I would have loved being at the theater, but this was pretty cool. Such is life. Always comparing but hardly enjoying.
And (AGAIN?!?!) after procrastinating for who-knows-why (how do you notate that?), I am now sitting down to semi-intentionally (thanks, Marion) write about my day (credit AofM). Then, THE COOLEST THING happened. I got a like and a reply from my new hero, Jeff Goins! Seems like a kindred spirit in several ways. One is we both enjoy (or need) routine. I must be consistent. If anything else, consistency is key. Name it! Whether it’s working out, eating keto, improving my bilingual skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills, girls want guys who… Oh, wait. Sorry, Napoleon. I digress.


No comments: